Bigotry for humorous effect.

Posted on October 3, 2007 by Daniel

So, let’s step into the Way Back machine. A couple years ago, a national car insurance agency launched a pretty funny ad campaign. It featured the saying “So easy a caveman could do it” which offended a caveman who happened to be working the boom mike on the set of the commercial. IMHO, it was funny not because of the joke, but because of the creative, unexpected subject matter. The ad campaign continued, and was pretty humorous: caveman + squash racket; caveman visiting his shrink; caveman at a dance club (“Hey, Tina called. We’re getting back together!”). Thirty seconds seemed like a perfect length of time for this sort of absurd humor.

Fast forward to last season’s NBA finals on ABC, and a very teasing spot about a new show “this fall” — very brief, and very identifiable. Modern day Cavemen on the west coast. My very first reaction was a laugh-out-loud, “Hah! That might be funny.” And then I saw another spot or two and began to wonder how quickly the “stupid caveman” joke would get played out. And since pretty much every clip was of the “caveman being insulted” or “caveman doing dumb thing” variety, I figured it was gonna happen pretty damn fast.

Welcome to the present. On Sunday, I saw another spot for the show that said the premier was Wednesday at 7, along with Carpoolers at 7:30. I went ahead and plugged them both into the DVR, because I’m a TV fiend and I would feel bad if the shows were actually good and I missed them. So, late last night, after I got the kids in bed I sat down to watch them. Carpoolers was stupid and not worth anything, but Caveman.

Holy Shit!

It is despicable. Turns out that since all the blacks and chinese and crippled and fatsos are actually offended by racism and bigotry, that the television execs have cooked up a perfect storm where they can make every single filthy, hateful, racist joke but play them all off on a made-up race that’s just trying to “fit in” with the “Sapes” (homo-sapien).

Top it off with a racist landlord (Stanley Roper, anyone?) and a interracial relationship that the cavemen don’t approve of (“Keep your penis in your genus”).

Oh, and the make-up is pathetic and the writing is just awful. I don’t expect it to go far on its production merits, but that’ll usually carry a show for a season or two to give the characters their ‘sea legs’. But hopefully a few more people will realize that these jokes are terrible and just redirected from people who’ve dealt with enough of this shit for long enough that it manages to not only miss being funny, but is also patently offensive.

Now, I’m the last person in the world to preach about funny. I love irony and sarcasm and gallows humor. I’m not proud — it’s just the way I’m wired. But if you watch this show and laugh at any of the jokes, you should probably take a step back and think about why you’re laughing. Is it because the joke is funny or because the joke is hateful? Oh, and “both” isn’t an acceptable answer — haters are never funny. Don’t laugh at a hater. Don’t be a hater.

Posted in Freaky, Polyticks | 2 Comments

Freakin’ Yummy.

Posted on September 23, 2007 by Daniel

A long, long time ago there was this really fabulous restaurant not far from where I work. Several of the people I’ve worked with over the last 8 years loved this place. I include myself in that list of people. In fact, it is one of the establishments in the Austin area that I cut my adventurous chops on!

Yes, that’s correct. I have not always been such a culinary daredevil. Before 2000, I think the most exploratory I would get is mole on my enchiladas. Every once in a while, I might’ve been excited by jalapenos in the queso, but my most outrageous experiences tended to my tex-mex heritage. That’s not to say that I wasn’t schooled in spice a few times during my tenure in New Orleans. In fact, there were probably a few times at a few festivals in good ol’ Looozyana when the crawfish boil brought tears to my eyes. But the people that I met in Austin taught me just a thing or two of the esculent arts. And of worldly cuisine. Turns out we Texans, while perhaps a little more culinarily brazen than your average Rhode-Islander, are still pretty humdrum when put against Thai or Afrikan or Morrocan fare. I have been to plenty of establishments where I never could have conceived of going before…

But this one place… Oh, I remember it fondly. Most of my coworkers at the time were only too happy (or too ambivalent) to agree to going there. Especially on Wednesdays. Massamun curry day! It was deee-vine. Back then, we were a two-income household, and Hays — well, he didn’t drink 4 gallons of milk a week and so I had a little more disposable income. And I was all too happy to go to lunch with the crowd. And we went to places I’d never been before.

Well, that is except for Thai Spice. We went there all the time. This one guy didn’t really believe there were any other restaurants than this. And it was close. But mostly I loved it on Wednesday for the reason stated earlier. I had never really gotten into curries before — especially Thai curries. And being a good Texan who grew up on carrots and potatoes, well Damn! This was some good stuff. And throw in peanuts to boot!

But then, one day, we went and it wasn’t Wednesday. And I was stumped. I’d already had the Pad Thai and a few other curries and I just wasn’t all that impressed. But another good friend of mine… he introduced me to a whole new level of yum. He’s gone now — not dead, but moved to a different plane of existence. New Zealand. And a different life. Same family, but all mellow and free-spirited. I admire that “up-and-gone” idea but I’m too much the coward. Anyway, back to his fave dish at Thai Spice….

It had a very simple name. It was Basil Fried Rice. And it was all of about $6. Me, I’m a bumpkin, so I don’t really know much about Thai food, but, hell, I knew this was good. So did Meredith. Mainly because every time I would have it, she could tell. We’d go to bed at night, and after lying there for about 2.8 seconds, she’d announce (not query, but ANNOUNCE) “You went to Thai Spice and had Basil Fried Rice today.”

She was never wrong.

You see, BFR is loaded with garlic. And basil. And cilantro. All are very pungent. And apparently, I exude them from my pores when I have consumed even less than two or three grams. Of course, I always consumed more than two or three grams, which made it quite obvious. But still… it was amazing. It was all basilly and garlicky and chili-ey. That’s Thai chilis. An insidious and delicious culprit if ever there was.

But it has all changed.

It is true that Thai Spice is still there. And BFR is still on the menu. But it’s not the same. It’s damn near $11 now. And the serving size is about half what it was. And there’s nowhere near the broccoli or chicken. Not to mention that the place has gone all “mod” and stuff.

I’m baffled why I never thought to find out more about BFR, but within the last couple years, I’ve started exploring in the kitchen…. I could always whip up a good stir-fry or dash together some yummy casserole, but I’ve been looking for more diverse fare lately. And somehow I stumbled across the fact that BFR wasn’t just a one-time-thing. Plenty of Thai places had it on the menu.

NO WAY!

It’s true. But still, somehow I managed to always skip over this recipe when contemplating dinner preparations.

Until tonight.

This afternoon, I found an interesting video (with an incredible wok/burner combo!) that demonstrated the simplicity of the BFR recipe. And I took it to heart. I improvised a little, as I’m wont to do — I replaced the bell pepper with a bit of celery. And maybe used less chili (so everyone else would like it). And (at present) there’s no way I could generate that kind of heat on my stove, so I had to batch things up a bit to get it all done. And I made quite a mess of the kitchen. But the results…

Let’s put it this way: I made what I thought was enough for me to have some extra for lunch on Monday. Well, that’s just not going to happen. The recipe was a hit. And the real kicker is that I can’t really believe how simple it was. No really. I’ll show you:

Posted in Food | 2 Comments

Bonjour on Linux?

Posted on September 6, 2007 by Daniel

So, I haven’t begun to dig, but I’m about to start hunting around. See, the thing is, I have this Linux server on my home network that occassionally needs access to Casper.

Casper is my laptop. It’s a mac. A very nice, pretty MacBook Pro.

It also uses DHCP on the network, so on any given day, my server (call him Vader) doesn’t know what Casper’s IP is and I don’t really want to have to force it.

And that’s where Bonjour comes in. Hopefully.

I’ll keep you posted on my progress. Ultimately, I’d like to be able to type something along the lines of ‘ssh casper’ from a terminal on vader. Let’s all keep our fingers crossed.

Posted in Geek, Macintosh | Leave a comment

Holy. Crap.

Posted on September 5, 2007 by Daniel

Considering my wife doesn’t even like beer, I think she’s spent a little too much time at the Heineken website:

[I have removed the iframe that was here and replaced it with a direct link because it was disruptive even to me.]

Heineken Video

Posted in Geek, Kids | 3 Comments

Are bowties cool?

Posted on September 5, 2007 by Daniel

I’ve always been fascinated by bowties, but I’ve only ever worn one as part of a tuxedo. And I think in my entire life, I’ve probably worn a tuxedo a grand total of, oh I don’t know… let’s count backwards:

  1. My cousin Kelly’s wedding
  2. My wedding
  3. My cousin Michael’s wedding
  4. Senior prom
  5. Junior prom

Uh, yeah. That’s it. But bowties… they’re pretty cool. I love their whimsy and the way they look much better with short-sleeved oxford shirts than a necktie does.

I think I will look to Mr. Kevin Greene for inspiration and perhaps go out and pick up a bowtie or two and maybe a new oxford shirt to wear with it.

Posted in Geek | Leave a comment

Labor Day Hunt

Posted on September 5, 2007 by Daniel

Four GenerationsThis past weekend, Meredith and the kids and I went up to Olney, Texas, to visit my grandparents along with my folks. It was the opening of dove season in the Texas North Zone, and up to just a day before 9/1 I had been feeling very ill and afraid that we would not make it. Well, Friday came and I felt at least decent enough to make the 4.5 hour drive from Austin, so we packed up the kids and supplies and headed north.

Saturday, my dad and grandfather and I got up early and headed out to some land behind their place that we’ve got permission to hunt on. Some others were hunting around the stock tank we normally occupy so we set up around another nearby. I guess by about 8:00 or so that morning, the birds started to fly. Most of them were white-wing dove coming out from roosting in the city overnight and I had quickly limited out on my two ww. I was going to have to keep a close eye on the flyers so as to not drop any more ww that morning, which was difficult because of the angle I was at on the stock tank — they were mostly flying directly over some brush/trees on the far side of the tank about 40 yards away or so and then breaking to my right across a fenceline. If I shot too early, they’d drop into the tank and too late, they’d drop on property I couldn’t get too because of the terrain. I did manage to bag four other mourning dove before we headed back to the house for coffee and breakfast.

That afternoon, Hays expressed a serious interest in going out with us. I hadn’t really expected it at all. My dad brought my old .410 break-over and we had some shells for it, so we let him come with us. Of course, if you’ve ever been hunting with kids who haven’t been out much, you know that you’re not so much hunting as mentoring and tutoring them. We set up in a treeline under some low overhanging cedar with the sun at our backs. After showing Hays how the .410 worked and giving him a quick rundown of the “this gun can kill things, don’t point it at stuff you don’t want to die” speech we were set up. A little while later a couple dove came in from the far right (away) moving to cross in front of us and pass about 20 yards over our left shoulders. Hays cocked and raised the gun and took aim and fired. He didn’t bring any bird down, but the shot was certainly close because of the reaction of the bird. I don’t think he’d pulled the gun in tight against his shoulder as the next few minutes were him overreacting to how it kicked and frogged his bicep. He quickly figured out that drawing the butt of the gun into the shoulder keeps it from doing that!

A couple more birds did fly in that afternoon, but very few. At one point I did drop a bird out at about 30-40 yards and was having a helluva time finding it in the thigh-high scrub that was pretty green from this Summer’s rains. Then Hays, with his eagle-eyes managed to walk right out to it and say, “Well, duh, dad! Here it is.” Thanks to him, I did manage to bring the one dove I shot that afternoon back to the house.

The next morning (Sunday, September 2) we went out again and set up around the tank we had originally wanted to get around. The birds just weren’t flying, so after maybe a half-hour or so, Hays and I headed out across a big patch of sunflowers and set up in a treeline waiting for the birds to fly in to feed. None ever came. I think we might have seen a grand total of a dozen birds on Sunday morning. It was pretty disappointing, but I had a lot of fun nonetheless, since I was out with my grandpa, dad, and my son.

I had a lot of fun, and so did Hays. He’s enjoyed telling his friends at school that he got to go hunting and on Monday (Labor Day) we stopped in at Cabela’s and he got to look at some different shotguns, including a nice 870 Wingmaster Youth Model. It was still just a little big for him, but they make an even smaller one with a barrel just shy of 19". I might try to find a shop around town that has one in stock to see how it handles for him. I think it’s time to track down a good hunter’s safety course to get both him and Griffin into. Even though she doesn’t want to do any hunting, she’s still interested in shooting skeet and clays with us whenever we do. I’m looking forward to that and even Meredith has expressed a strong interest in getting involved. Not that she’s ever been opposed to it, she’s just not as gung-ho about the whole thing as I am, I guess. Anyway, there’s still quite a bit of dove season left, so I certainly hope we get to go out at least a couple more times. Otherwise the seven birds I’ve brought down this year are going to amortize out to about $20 each!

Posted in Kids, Travel | 1 Comment

So long… and thanks for all the fish.

Posted on August 28, 2007 by Daniel

Closed
Those who’ve known me for a while know that I come from a graphic design background. Actually, technically, it’s an architecture background, but I never really did any of that. I did, however, do lots of design and typesetting for print media. I hadn’t done any real design work for about 10 years, but a few years ago that changed as I took on a logo design project for a friend. Then another. Then I designed some stationery and business cards for another friend. And since I’ve got a printer in the family, I did some pass-through printing (brokering).

Before long, I was doing a fair bit of design work for mostly friends, but I was also doing the occasional referral job, so I decided to set up a dba. It took off. Nothing major, but then again, nothing to sneeze at.

However, recently, I just haven’t been able to answer the phone and take on the jobs and be able to be as reliable and as thorough as I feel like I have to be in order to really do this well. So, I’m doing the only thing that I really feel like I can do. I may (may) take on the occasional design job, but it’ll be a while before I do.

I’ve shut down Tee Squared. It’s a bummer, but it’s the right thing to do.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

85 stitches.

Posted on July 30, 2007 by Daniel

Griffin's cut

Griffin took a bit of a spill today at camp. She’s doing fine now, but she was rather excited earlier. I hope she comes home with all her limbs tomorrow.

Posted in Freaky, Kids | Leave a comment

Rah-rah Rasputin!

Posted on July 24, 2007 by Daniel

In response to Ketan:

Is it me, or does Boney M sound a lot like Dieter Meier?

Posted in Freaky | 1 Comment

Harry Potter and the Deathly-Looking Mom

Posted on July 21, 2007 by Meredith

So I’m looking just a wee bit on the haggared side today. I took Griff and a friend of hers to the Borders Harry Potter release party last night and it ran — *yawn* — just a tad later than my usual bedtime these days. I did get caught up in the excitement and fun of it all, though, and so I was able to avoid snapping anyone’s head off for acting like a freaking IDIOT over a damn BOOK. (I mean seriously, there’s no need to push, shove, or make snotty remarks. We’re all in this together, no? And if you keep being a jackass, I might have to kill you.) No, I remained calm and composed, and you know what? We got our books within a few minutes of midnight, and then we GOT THE HELL OUT OF THERE.

I have to tell you how very cool it is to see all these children desperately clamoring to get their copy of a 759-page book. My daughter’s a voracious reader, so it’s not unusual to see her lugging around some hefty tome. But some of the people with whom we interacted last night? The ones with the hicksville drawl? Reeking of cigarettes? Many of them I never would have suspected of ANY kind of reading, educational, for pleasure, or otherwise. Really — some of those people were clearly from East Yeehaaville. But I’m just tickled freakin’ pink to see them reading something other than National Enquirer.

Anyway, my daughter has her copy, which was one of the first 20 or 30 sold at that store, and she screamed with delight when she got it. On the trip home, the girls used flashlights to read in the back of the car. We dropped off her friend, and then Griff stayed up who-knows-how-late reading (I checked on her at 5 a.m. and found her asleep on top of the book, with the light on). Then she was up bright and early this morning reading some more, taking a break only for a quick bagel for breakfast.

Griff came somewhat late to the Harry Potter party. She was in kindergarten or first grade when the first book came out, and initially I set out to read it to her at bedtime. Her active imagination quickly put that to a stop, as I do not particularly enjoy being awakened in the middle of the night by a terrified, screaming child who’s been having nightmares about Harry Potter bad guys. So, our copies of the HP books languished for a while, and it wasn’t until 5th grade that she decided she was ready to dive in and finally read them, long after many of her friends had. Like everyone else, she was totally drawn in, and quickly plowed her way through the first six books. Then she went back and re-read a couple of her favorites. Ever since, she’s been breathlessly awaiting book seven, even marking its release date on her calendar months ago, and making me promise to take her to the release party.

So last night I filled my parental duty, and took her to get the book that she’s been so desperately waiting for. She even dressed up in a Griffyndor costume, and she took part in the “Snape: Friend or Foe?” debate, the costume contest, and the trivia contest. She and her friend ran around, acted silly, and generally had a fabulous time. Me? I just wanted to find a chair. (At one point, I went and sat in the kids section on a low little bench, with my knees up next to my ears. And at my age, contortions like that have the potential to be fatal. But by that point, I would have happily parked my ass on a bed of nails, if it meant I could take my weight off my feet for a while.)

But now I’ve made my daughter happy, and I get to watch her delight as the final chapters in the Harry Potter saga unfold before her. How cool is that?

Posted in Kids, Oh my gawd! She blogged! | Leave a comment