LASIK

LASIK, or laser assisted in situ keratomileusis, is the process of ablating the cornea to its stromal layer using a microkeratome, then using a laser (not a little lightbulb that blinks) to reshape the eye in an attempt to improve vision.

That's the science. It's pretty damn cool.

Elective? Yes. Dangerous? Yes. But it has a very low failure rate and an even lower destructive failure rate. There was a non-zero risk that I could have come away from the surgery functionaly blind.

According to the doctor, a cursory eye-chart exam shows me at 20/20 now. I don't know what I was before -- probably somewhere in the 20/200 range or so. Near-sighted with a fairly strong astigmatism.

Now I can clearly see

• book spines from across the room
• highway signs from a couple hundred yards
• license plates from 3-4 car lengths away
• leaves on the trees in my and my neighbors yards
• subtitles on the TV in the bedroom
• the rooftops from my office window

I can also buy non-prescription sunglasses. And I can wear swim goggles and see underwater. Not yet, though. I have to wait about 6 weeks for the cornea separation to heal completely. I can wear normal sports goggles when playing racquetball.

But mostly, I don't have to wear glasses any more.

And it was worth it.

Redneck Penguins

While snacking on some HEB "Texas Fun Shape" pretzels with a friend this afternoon, we were attempting to discern the various shapes in the bag and their Texas-themed heritage. There were the ubiquitous Texas-shaped ones, and also some that were shaped like cowboy boots and another shaped like a bell. We never could figure out the theme behind the bell. Bear erroneously associated the bell with the Alamo, but we quickly realized was probably subliminal associations with Taco Bell, not the Alamo.

Anyway, there were also these pretzels that were shaped like penguins. At least I think they were penguins. They looked exactly like penguins and pretty much like nothing else. But we couldn't place the penguins in the Texas gestalt.
Until we realized that perhaps the penguins were supposed to wear the boots and ring the bell.

Woohoo!

Don't ya just love it when you get home from a night of playing poker and you find a $10 in your pocket you forgot you'd stuffed?

I thought I'd lost $20, but I'm happy I only lost $10.

Har.

I had a good time, nonetheless (should that be hyphenated? Oh well).

For God's Sake Smile!

I haven't been visiting the coffee shop around the corner from my house all that often recently. Used to be, I was pretty much a fixture in that place, Steve and I would often arrive around 6 am and not leave until mid-morning. He was working on his book and I was writing software. This was better than a year ago or more.

Ever since the new owners have taken over, it just hasn't really been the same place. The previous owners were real nice, and they always had plenty of people working the counter and they always (and I mean always) were prompt and friendly.

There have been a few times over the last couple months (since the "transition" of ownership) where I've observed interesting, if down-right idiotic behavior. Most recently (and with a certain personal finality) was yesterday...

I was swinging by to grab a quick cup of coffee. Not a coffee drink (latte, mocha, etc) -- just a plain-jane cup'o'joe. As I was parking, I watched another patron walk in just a few seconds before I did. When I walked in and up to the counter (towards the back of the store), I noticed that the person that walked in a good 15 seconds in front of me was standing in front of the register where you normally place your order. There was also a customer standing near the sugar/creamer bar.

Now comes the interesting part...

The owner was standing behind the counter at the register talking on the phone. Right there. In front of this new customer. And me. Not once did she look up. She was standing at the exact spot where drink orders are taken and paid for and she didn't fucking care to do that job.

As I stood there, I noticed that the person standing at the sugar/creamer counter was waving the pitcher of creamer in the air. And I'm not talking about kinda holding it up, I'm talking about arm fully extended over the top of his head waving this large aluminum carafe back and forth.

Wow.

And the owner's husband is standing behind another section of the counter but he seems a bit preoccupied with cleaning something under the counter or on the back wall, because he's got his head down and his back to us!

Well this went on for about a full minute. The lady in front of me and I made eye-contact and she had that kind of apologetic, "I'm sorry they're not helping me." look.

Dammit, it's not your fault!

I couldn't take it any longer. I walked out. I won't be going back. I'm thinking about buying them a copy of Raving Fans, but then, I'm pretty sure it won't do any good. It's easier to tell them how I feel with my wallet.